Aging with RAZ

Making video chats easier for someone with dementia

Video chats work best if our loved one is in the early stages of dementia. They will need instruction and possibly multiple one-on-one, in-person practice sessions with you and their device. This may require some experimenting and patience.

As with any other conversation, time of day and their exhaustion level will impact the experience. It is important we adapt and make micro changes in how we speak to them. Over time, they may no longer understand humor or sarcasm. They will repeat themselves. They may have difficulty finding the right words. They may lose their inhibitions and use offensive language or other behaviors. And they may have problems following a conversation.

It takes longer for someone with dementia to process information as their brain changes advance, speak slowly and clearly. Avoid using baby talk with them. It’s insulting. You may need to pause for up to 30 seconds for them to respond. Remember you are on video, so smile and relax your shoulders while you are waiting for their reply.

With young children, explain to them how your loved one has changed and how to have the best conversation. Have practice-play sessions with them so they know what to expect, and how to speak and play with your loved one. Let them know that if your loved one walks away, it is not their fault, it’s the disease.

Getting the Basic Right:
➡️ Silence your phone.
➡️ Set up your device on a table or desk.
➡️ Position yourself so they can see your full face and upper body.
➡️ Be in a well-lit area so they can see you.
➡️ Eliminate backlighting or glare that makes it difficult for them to see you.
➡️ Sit at eye level with the camera. Looking down at someone can be intimidating and make them feel threatened.
➡️ Look into the camera lens, not at the screen, so they see you looking at them.
➡️ Do not multitask during the conversation.
➡️ Minimize distractions and background noise.
➡️ Make sure you look familiar. Don’t change your hair style or color or wear a hat.
➡️ Limit the call to one person on screen at a time to avoid confusion.
➡️ They need a quiet room, without distractions.

Start small, be patient, and keep showing up—your connection matters.