Aging with RAZ

The power of a helping hand

When natural disasters strike, people often rush to help strangers without being asked. Care partners supporting someone living with dementia need that same support, but too often they become isolated when support is most needed.

People disappear from their lives because of fear or lack of understanding. If you want to help, don’t ask them to come up with ways you can help. They are overwhelmed, and one more decision may feel like a flash flood.

Instead of asking, “How can I help?” offer something specific, manageable, and easy for the care partner to accept.

Start by learning about the disease, about the stages of dementia and how communication changes over time so you don’t place extra demands on the care partner to explain the disease.

Ways to offer a helping hand:
➡️ Provide respite: spend time with the person living with dementia so the care partner can leave the house, run errands, or simply rest.
➡️ Offer to handle specific chores: mow the lawn, do laundry, or drop off pre-cooked meals.
➡️ Run errands: pick up groceries, collect prescriptions, or drive them to a medical appointment.
➡️ Stay consistently connected: call, text, or send a card to remind the care partner they are not alone and help them stay connected to the outside world.
➡️ Include the person living with dementia in conversations: use simple sentences, speak slowly, practice patience, and smile so the care partner does not have to manage the conversation.
➡️ Be patient and flexible: routines shift, plans get canceled at the last minute and offers of help may be turned down at first because the care partner is overwhelmed. Keep gently offering. No may simply mean not now.

Try these:
Offer a low-stress outing for the care partner and the person living with dementia, such as taking a walk or visiting a calm, soothing place together.

Offer to listen and let the care partner vent, cry, or talk through frustration without offering unsolicited advice.

Sometimes the most helpful thing to say is simply, “Do you want to be hugged, heard, or helped?”.