Aging with RAZ

The importance of routine

When was the last time you thought about your morning routine? Is it so automatic you can cruise through it without a second thought? What happens to your mood when you are running late and skip a step or two in your routine?

How long does it take you to get back to normal? Now imagine your loved one. Their daily routine represents safety, comfort, and control over their environment. Changes in their routine may cause meltdowns that will last until they feel safe again, which might last for days.

For example, family reunions can be stressful, even for people without dementia. We take our loved one out of their routine and ask them to behave as if they are normal. This will last until they become overwhelmed by noise, activities, feeling crowded, multiple conversations, etc.

How do we get them back to calm after a meltdown?

➡️ If they are shouting and swinging fists, remove the immediate threat
➡️ Eliminate outside noise like talking and loud music
➡️ Be willing to go where they are emotionally
➡️ Take a deep breath, stay calm, and smile
➡️ Give them space
➡️ Ask the onlookers to be quiet until the event is over
➡️ Move to their dominant side, facing the same direction they are
➡️ Yell what they are shouting. When you are in agreement the yelling stops
➡️ Get below their eye level. You may need to get down on your knees
➡️ When they begin to relax, offer them both of your hands, palm up
➡️ If they take your hands, gently squeeze at the base of their thumb
➡️ Speak calmly and slowly, assure them they are safe
➡️ Synchronize your breathing. In between each sentence, take in a long, deep breath and exhale slowly through your mouth
➡️ Continue this until they copy your breathing five to ten times
➡️ Drop your shoulders and smile
➡️ Once they are calm, return their agency to them. You say, “I sure would feel good if you would give me a hug.”

💡 Pro Tip: After a crisis, a person’s body temperature drops. Wrap them in a blanket, guide them to a smaller, quieter space, play their favorite music, and give them something warm to eat or drink.

@tracycramperkins, author of Dementia Home Care, How to Prepare Before, During and After.