Aging with RAZ

WHEN A DEMENTIA BEHAVIOR MIGHT BE SOMETHING ELSE

It always happens when you are having “that day.” Nothing seems to be going right. And now your loved one is restless, pacing, and agitated and they can’t tell you why. It’s an unmet need and not the disease. What are they trying to tell you?

Several things can lead to agitation, for example:
➡️ Fear.
➡️ Pain.
➡️ Noise.
➡️ Hunger.
➡️ Infection.
➡️ Boredom.
➡️ Exhaustion.
➡️ Dehydration.
➡️ Being too cold or warm.
➡️ Too much caffeine, sugar, or junk food.
➡️ A change in schedule such as a late meal.

A sudden change in behavior might indicate pain, UTI or other infection. Seek immediate medical attention.
In most cases, they are trying to express the cause of the unmet need and are becoming as frustrated as you are with them for not being able to communicate with you.

If your loved one is screaming or yelling and will not calm down, don’t make any sudden moves and remain calm.
➡️ Urge them to scream it all out and scream with them.
➡️ Agree or be sympathetic with what they say.

When you both “agree,” you can slowly calm the situation by taking deep breaths and breathing out slowly. They will mirror your behavior and calm down with you. Once they calm down, it’s time to uncover the source.

If the words they are using do not make sense, ask them to point to “it,” whatever it is or show you how they use “it.” If that doesn’t work, create or purchase a deck of communication cards or placemats. For example, showing images of food, with a short title like “I am hungry,” or a cup with “I am thirsty,” or cards with individual body parts with “I am in pain,” which they can point to.

Once you have become adept at using your communication tool, teach everyone who interacts with your loved one how to use it.
It is now a respite tool you can share with anyone who cares for or visits your loved one, so they have a good visit, and you get some down time.

💡 Pro Tip: Keep one to two back-ups for your communication tool where you can find it, in case the original disappears and you don’t have to spend time searching for it.

Now let’s send “that day” for a timeout in the corner with the dust bunnies.

Tracy Cram Perkins — author of Dementia Home Care, How to Prepare Before, During and After.